I am going to be 50 this year, a fact that sits on my brain almost 24/7 and has led to a lot of profound thoughts. Profoundly sweet, profoundly sad, and since it’s me, profoundly weird and maybe insane.
30 years ago a drunken English professor called me a “juxtaposition of incongruous opposites.” No really, that’s what she said – I have it in writing. I’ve spent almost all of that time trying to both understand what the hell she was saying, and inadvertently living up to that description, even though it makes no sense. My husband once referred to me as a “non linear thinker.” My Dad told me not to be myself, but to instead try to be someone else. My kids say “oh my god, MOM!” a lot. I’m assuming that every description anyone has ever used to describe me has been lovingly meant and mostly accurate.
So, a warning: everything is funny to me, even when I’m screwing up, which I do quite frequently. I’m a a trouble-maker, a jack-ass, a softie, over-educated, curious, loving, and a stellar mom. I don’t like to be messed with or repetitive sounds or math. I don’t do taxes, insurance, cars, or dead animal removal. I swear a lot but not in front of strangers or my little kid or anyone who might be offended. I’m not stupid or insensitive, just careless and nutty. I laugh constantly, at myself and at you.
And I have never had a plan, so don’t ask me. I just do stuff and then think about it afterwards. You may refer to it as ADD; I call it “oh yeah…” I do remember (sometimes) how I got over THERE but now it looks like I ended up over HERE.
And there you have the story of my life.